Romy Cheating on Mike and Lying

This post is from a comment on Lane County Mugshots Uncensored - where there is a post about Romy's convictions and for the community to be careful. That FB group can be found here.

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Thank you for bringing this tragic story to the masses about this vile person that I once thought was my friend, Romy Durbin Hayden married one of my best friends, Mike Hayden. Sorry but I need to get this off my chest, it’s a long one💔

I started dating my husband in 1993 and shortly there after NAME REDACTED, Mike Hayden, and I were roommates. We had the best time, watching CHIPS while enjoying our morning coffee, me coming home from a long shift at The 6th Street Grill to a houseful of boys playing poker, finding the guys in the garage helping Mike rebuild his CJ7. Mike was in our wedding, the memories go on and on. Mike dated over the years, he had his heart broken a few times but would say to me “I just want to find my person”. If remember correctly, Mike met Romy Durbin Hayden in 2001 and we all thought that he had finally met his match. We had never seen him so happy and she was head over heels for Mike. We all embraced Romy and her and I quickly became very close friends. We moved to California in 2004 but whenever we were in Eugene we would make plans to see Mike & Romy. As and our families grew we were so excited that our kids knew each other.

So fast forward to 2016 I had a family emergency and flew up to Eugene solo. I text Romy asking what she was up to as I was leaving the hospital. She quickly put two and two together and figured out that I was in town. She insisted that I come over right now!! I was excited to see a friend after a long emotional day so I started to drive to their home on Snelling. Romy Durbin said they moved and gave me their new address. I got to their home and we quickly started to catch up. She starts to tell me that her and Mike are divorcing amicably, co-parenting the boys with ease and that she had fallen in love and asked me to be in her wedding. I graciously said yes, after all her and Mike were splitting on good terms and he knew she had moved on. She goes onto boasting about this guy from Tennessee and that he grew up in Jamaica. Saying that this guy is so in love with her, will support her, the kids and even build her mom a home. While showing me the messages exchanged between her and this guy, to photos of them together and then one offs exchanges. She was extremely proud to show me a dick pic that I thought was very inappropriate, that should only be between you and that person. But at this moment she was giddy, in love and so excited to share. She even had a quick FaceTime call with this guy and both the boys told him hello, they knew this man like they did this frequently.

There was a little conversation about losing their house, but she was not completely honest how that happened. She conveniently left out the part that she was taking Mike’s paychecks, not paying the bills but using the money on personal shopping sprees…. So selfish to Mike, but she also did this to her kids…. This was their home. Gave me some story that they were working with a financial advisor and were on a VERY tight budget. Her allowance was something like $40 a week. Not sure if she was going to take the opportunity to ask for a loan but by then day turned into night and around 5:30 headlights shined through the front window and her face went white as a ghost and said “Mike is here”.

I said “oh is he here to pick up the boys?” With everything that she had been telling me for the past 3-4’ish hours she quickly tells me right before Mike walked through the door “Mike and I are not getting a divorce, I’m having an affair and the guy I’m having the affair with thinks I’m divorced”. I wanted to throw up. As Mike came inside, it was everything I could do to not explode. After all there were children in the house. I was trying to figure out a way to get him alone but she was not going to let that happen. They asked me to stay for dinner and I thought the extra time would present me with a moment to talk with Mike. She was acting so childish behind him while they were preparing dinner. Nasty faces and gestures behind his back. Mike was tired and headed to bed and I started to gather my things to go but I wanted to say goodbye to Mike. I headed to their bedroom where he was watching tv. I just remember hugging him and whispering his ear that he needed to get his house in order, get rid of Romy and protect the boys. I begged him to call me the next day that we need to talk.

Romy quickly arrived in the bedroom and Mike did not call me the next day. I cried the whole way home while on the phone with my husband. He had never heard me that upset until that night.

The thing you need to know is that I couldn’t text this information to Mike because you never knew if it was him or Romy responding. He was horrible with calls and text. She tried to fool many of us texting as if it was Mike, but it was her 99% of the time. Reason why I insisted he call me.

Randomly I receive a text message from Mike a few months later after the evening of hell saying “as you know Romy is in Jamaica with her friend that just graduated college. So sad that you were not able to go with them for the Girls Trip. Romy was super bummed”. WTF…. “as you know” oh HELL no she is not using me from CA as a shield for her lies. I blocked Romy personally and on social media shortly after the night of hell. I called Mike immediately and told him everything, and that the guy that she was having the affair with is from Jamaica and she told me that he has a home there. Weird how they picked Jamaica as their destination for a Girls Trip🤬.

A few Christmas’s ago we were in Eugene and Mike begged us to come see him, and said that he and Romy Durbin Hayde were together so we weren’t shocked when we got there. I told NAME REDACTED no, that if she was there I can’t. He wore me down and kept telling me “do it for Mike”. We went and she was trying to apologize and pick up where we had left off but I didn’t believe a word she said. Thank goodness there were other people there so I didn’t have to be alone with her.
She lies and hurt people. There is no remorse for those in her path.

We miss Mike so much. She ruined so many of his friendships to a point where no one wanted to be there if she was there. This put Mike on an island and my heart breaks that on his darkest of days that he couldn’t reach out to any of us. I should’ve tried harder to stay in touch with him. Yet the night he left their house telling Romy that he was going to commit suicide and you’ll know where to find me, she was texting some guy “blue eyes” hoping for a bootie call. Didn’t follow Mike or call the cops. You are a sick and vile person Romy Durbin Hayden.